Kerry Sets Firm Timetable

Andy Borowitz has scooped everyone with the news that John Kerry has set a "firm deadline" on something. Not about when the last American troops leave Iraq so that terrorists can stage a coup and imprison the Iraqi people again. No, this decision would be much bigger news:
In a speech to the United States Senate today, Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) made his strongest policy statement to date about the war in Iraq, saying that he had set a firm timetable for making up his mind about the conflict. "I will make up my mind about Iraq, once and for all, by the end of this year, and not one day later," a resolute Sen. Kerry told his colleagues. "June 2007 at the very latest."
In the spirit of bipartisanship, I want to congratulate the junior senator for making up his mind. Sorta. We look forward to the day when we can say "That man's got a spine made of titanium. When he sets his mind to doing something, nothing can stop him. Well, almost nothing."


Posted Monday, June 26, 2006 7:47 AM

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